Ah, Christmas in Australia. While the rest of the world is sipping hot cocoa in front of fireplaces and donning ugly knitted sweaters, we’re over here desperately trying to find the one patch of shade in the backyard, wrestling flies for our pavlova, and sweating like we’ve just run a marathon—all before 10:00 AM.
Here’s your ultimate survival guide to thriving (or at least surviving) the great Aussie Christmas:
Embrace the Sweat
You will sweat. You will sweat while eating prawns, sweating. You will sweat while smiling for the family Christmas photo, looking like a glazed ham. It’s fine. By Boxing Day, sweat is basically a festive accessory.
BBQs > Ovens
The kitchen is lava. Do not attempt a full roast dinner unless you wish to pass out in the heat. The BBQ is your saviour. Throw everything on it—seafood, snags, even dessert if you’re feeling bold. If it can be cooked on flames, it’s fair game.
Flies are Part of the Family
Forget the Christmas lights—it’s not the holidays without the Aussie salute. You’ll spend half the day waving flies away from your face like you’re the Queen of England on a float. Accept it. Flies don’t respect personal space, especially if you’re holding a sausage roll.
Sun Safety = Survival
We live on the surface of the sun, or close enough. By all means, rock that festive red and white—but not because you forgot your SPF 50. Nothing ruins Christmas Day like discovering you’ve cooked yourself to a crisp, lobster-style. Slip, slop, slap, repeat.
The Great Pavlova Showdown
Aussie or Kiwi? Store-bought or homemade? There will be debates. There will be competition. Just ensure there’s enough pav to go around, and never—I repeat, never—drop the pavlova. It’s un-Australian.
The Backyard Olympics
Nothing says Christmas Day like sweating through a game of backyard cricket or lawn bowls with your cousins, in thongs (flip-flops) no less. Remember: sledging is encouraged, six-and-out rules apply, and Nan is undefeated—don’t mess with her.
Boxing Day Recovery
After surviving the feast, the heat, and Uncle Barry’s Christmas cracker jokes, Boxing Day is your reward. The cricket is on, the leftovers are flowing, and naps are mandatory. This is where true champions shine: cold ham in one hand, remote in the other.
So there you have it—your guide to staying cool, sane, and relatively sunburn-free this Christmas in Australia. May your prawns be plentiful, your beer be cold, and your air-conditioning never fail.
Merry Chrissy, legends, from all of us at Camp Blue !
